Saturday, May 9, 2009

Cock it all

Something I wrote a while ago, but I really enjoyed. Please enjoy, and spelling be DAMNED!!


Cock it all

Scene 1-Street EXT-Night
Two men enter an empty street one night. They look around constantly, making sure no one is around. They approach a car and one man begins tinkering under the car while the other keeps watch. The one keeping watch is Henry Fisk aka “Fist”, the one under the car is Tim.

Tim:
Is it all clear?

Fist:
Wot?

Tim:
Is it clear!?

Fist:
Is wot clear?

Tim: (slides out from under the car)
What do you think fist. My complexion, my aura, my Fucking Conscience!

Fist:
(looks right at Tim) ..... Ya, it looks all right to me Tim.

Tim:
You're a right fucking idiot, you know that don't you? (slides back under the car)

Fist:
(Pulls Tim back from under the car. For a long pause they stare at each other, Fist points at Tim.)
.... That wasn't very nice Tim.

Tim
(Looking somewhat puzzled): What the fuck was that?

Fist:
(Lets Tim go and continues keeping a look out) .... Anger management Tim, I gotta control my “issues”

Tim:
......You're a Heavy for Hire, Fist, you're supposed to be angry. You're a rioght pissy son a bitch who like cracking heads, breaking limbs, and making people understand why the don't piss with the people who hire you.

Fist:
Maybe I'm not comfortable with that kinda image.

(Tim stares blankly at Fist for a moment and goes back to work under the car.)

Scene 2-Police Car INT-Night
Two Police Officers pull around a corner, and see Fist and Tim working on the car. They stop the car, and watch the two men working. The pair of Coppers are named Officer Gerald Scottsburough, and Officer Sarah Braidey.

Sarah:
What do you suppose those two are doing?

Gerald:
Up to no good I'd imagine.

Sarah:
What do you want to do about this?

Gerald:
Nothing.

Sarah:
And why not? We are Officers of the law! We have to do something.

Gerald:
Do you know who's car that is.

Sarah:
No, it doesn't matter who's car that is we have to do something, its our duty.

Gerald:
That is the car of Drake Aurthur Lawrence.

Sarah:
The Crime Lord?

Gerald:
Aye, the crime lord. Now as I see it, if we do nothing, one of two good things could appen. One they're planting a bomb and he gets blown up. Two they're messing with his car in which case we can seize the car as evidence against those two blokes, and then who knows what wonderful things we could find on Mr. Lawrence. So rookie, I suggest we wait.

Sarah:
O my, this is really exciting.

Gerald:
Well we'll see yet.



Scene 3-Drake's Apt. INT-Night

(Drake Aurthur Lawrence is preparing to leave his house, but as he peers out the window he sees Fist and Tim at his car, he opens a drawer and takes a gun. He's about to leave when he checks the window again and notices the cop car.)

Drake:
Shit! Bloody shit fucking ell. A pair of pillocks trying to off me and the bloody fuzz are just sitting there watching. Well fuck the lot of them! We'll see if they get ol' Drake.... Shit! If I start the fucking thing it'll blow sky high, but if I just leave it the fucking coppers will be all over it. I'd rather it blew than let the fucking fuzz find all the shit in the fucking trunk. Aaaaaahhh Fuck! I got two cases of quid in the back, but is it worth the jail time. Shit think! The bags of smack, my magnum, the other shit, lets see four for that, another five, the mags got at least fifty on it alone. Dammit I should have got rid of that piece along time ago, sentimental ol' fuck. What else... that...those... twenty-five.... shit, all together thats.... one hundred and eighty five years....... ya definitely blow it up. I can't just blow it, if I get in I'm fucked. I need to think! ( Drake hits his head a bit, looks deep in thought). Yeh, yeh thats it, I gotta get them in a spot!

(Drake picks up the phone and dials 911)

Scene 4-Police Car INT-Night
Gerald and Sarah are still sitting in the car when a call squelches over the radio.

Dispatch:
“Units in the Vincenty South Lambeth road, please advise on a possible 504. The suspects are a pair of white males, wearing black street wear. The vehicle is a white BMW M5. Over.”

Gerald:
Well bullocks, looks like the cats out of the bag. (to the radio) “ Be advised dispatch this is car nineteen. We're in the area we'll have a look”

Dispatch:
“Roger car nineteen, advise on anything out of the usual”

Sarah:
Now what?

Gerald:
Wait for it. (Waits a little bit, then back to the radio) “Come in dispatch this is car nineteen, we see the car we'll take a look”

Dispatch:
“Roger that”

Gerald:
Ok Braidey, lets go.

The two exit the car

Scene 5-Street EXT-Night
Officer Gerald Scottsburough, and Officer Sarah Braidey calmly stroll over to the car where the other two are working. Fist and Tim haven't noticed them yet. Gerald and Sarah look at each other with a knowing look, before turning back to the dubious duo.

Gerald:
Ah-hem

Fist:
Ya Tim?

Tim:
.... I thought that was you.

Fist:
Nope wasn't me

Tim:
Then dare I ask, Who it was?

Fist:
Tim are you daft, if it wasn't me and it wasn't you, then how am I suppose to know who it was.

Tim:
..... (Quietly) O sweet Mary mother of Jesus.

Sarah:
No actually it was Officer Scottsburough ere.

Tim:
........

Fist:
(Turns slowly to look at the Officers, smiles nervously) Thank you ma'am.

Sarah:
Do you mind telling us what you two are up to?

Fist:
Um well we were just ere, so, and we....um.

Drake comes out from his house, with his jacket and briefcase. Then proceeds towards his car, looking at the odd group with a mix of annoyance and distrust.

Gerald:
Good eve'n sir, is this you're vehicle?

Drake:
Yes, yes it is.

Sarah:
Do you know these two men?

Drake:
(looks at the Tim and Fist).... Ya, I know em.

Sarah:
Friends of yours?

Drake:
Ya, my bodyguard and my.... (peeks under the car) driver.

Gerald:
May I ask what they're up to?

Drake:
Well my bodyguard 'ere is just keeping an eye on my driver while he tries to fix my car, right?

Fist: O ya, yes, definitely.

Drake: So.... 'ow is the car coming along?

Fist: Tim?

Tim: ........ Well, it was going fine, then it all turned to shit.... as usual.

Gerald: Now why is that?

Drake: Well officer, “Tim” ere isn't a licensed mechanic, one might say e doesn't ave a “Fucking” clue what e's doing. I however have faith in the man. In fact “Tim”...

Tim:
......yes..?(slowly slides out from under the car)

Drake:
Why don't you start 'er up and get 'er warm for me will ya? (tosses Tim the keys)

Tim:
(takes the keys) Won't do any good 'boss', she's “dead”.

Drake:
Well I guess you won't know till you start her up eh?

(Fist and Tim look nervously at each other)


Tim:
I'd really rather not.

Gerard:
And whys that boyo?

Drake:
He's worried I'll prove him wrong, Now Start It.

Gerard:
Hold on, may I have a look under the bonnet?


Tim, Fist & Drake:
No!

Sarah and Gerard look at them curiously

Tim:
Uhh, its a mess down there you wouldn't want to get dirty.

Fist:
Ya, wot e said.

Gerard:
No, no I don't mind a mess. (reaches for the hood but is stopped by Drake)

Drake:
Do you have a warrant?

Gerard:
So this is how you're going to play it eh? Ok then, Mr. Tim, start it up.

Sarah:
but Ger...(cut off)

Gerard:
Start it.

Drake:
Yes... start it!

Tim:
I...i....i.....i...

Fist:
I'll do it Tim.

Tim:
Really!?

Fist:
Ya...ya you're all dirty, a..a..and you wouldn't want to get the interior dirty, cause you're family, and. Well I.... (takes the keys from Tim, still nervously stuttering)

As fist gets in the front seat, everyones backs up slowly, and nervously. Fist takes one sad look at Tim as he sits in the front seat, he puts in the key and slowly turns on the ignition. The car sputters to life, and remains idling peacefully. Everyone breathes a small sigh of relief.

Gerard:
Ok then, I guess theres nothing to see ere you all have a good evening. You might want to take that to the shop.

Drake:
Off course officer.

Tim:
You know what sir I can't drive like this, I'm a mess. I'll just go home and change. Fist I believe you're “off shift” now lets grab a beer on the way home.

Drake:
(snarling a bit) Certainly. (under his breath to Tim) “I'm going to hunt you down have you're whole family killed”

Gerard:
Ok then, well its late, I think its time we all left this behind. Good night gentlemen, Mr. Lawrence.

Everyone departs their separate ways.

Fist:
(as Drake drives away) The boss is going to be pissed we fucked this up, I however, am really really happy you fucked up Tim.

Tim:
I didn't.

Fist:
Wot?

Tim:
The bombs still there Fist, its just timed.

Fin

Copyright
Dillon MacPherson 2008
All Rights Reserved

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Miss Mary's Assignments of Doom

So my dear friend Mary and I came with the idea of swapping skills. I'd like to explain this a little more. I said I wanted to write better and so I offered to teach here how to think more creatively. So she gave me the assignment to write a stream of conscience for ten minutes then turn that into a story. So at this point I only have the stream of conscience, but I'll post it anyways.

"OK OK SO THE CRAZYNESS BEGINS, I START MY FIRST 10 MINUTE STREAM OF CONSICINNNNKJDNSKJFJDK WRITING THINGY..... opps cap lock is on. I guess I can't go back can I? Maybe I should I mean it does look pretty silly.... NO! I must forge on must push forward I must keep writing for time minutes, Should I be timing this? Bah too late, ok so what do I start on?... I guess I have already started.... hmm a few mistakes and lots of indissicioun. Awesome perfect start. 10 points, all the judges agree, wait.. what judges, I'm being judged!!? well sweet crap I guess if I'm going out I'd like to go out with a shoop shoop Ka-Boom. Ok ok, so 10 minutes should be a about 5 songs at 2 minutes a song, and I'm on song 1..... I'll get you for this Mary just you wait, I'll get you soon enough. Did you ever see the rip offs of popular movies in other countries? They are pretty hilarious, I swear I'd take QWUUUUUUAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!! over KHAAANN! Any day. Hheheh Anger of Qwuan, best Space Journey movie ever. I have a very eclectic collection of music, and it has a pretty heavy influence on what I'm writing so, it's going to cause some extreme differences from one paragraph to another. Am I even using paragraphs? Hmm doesn't seem like it, but honestly one second ot's Electric six with all there crazy high energy sex related music next minute its the slow calm cool collection of Tom Waits's blues, AH! Showtunes!! sorry for the start, but I suddenly had a character from Crazy for you whispering in my right ear. God dammit I really wanted to be in that show. I would have make an ace Zangler and anyone who disagrees with me can get a sharp piece of toast in the eye.... Thinking about all the stuff I just wrote I realise that this is going to be an absolute sob to turn into a story, GOOD GOD MARY!! What have you done!!! QWUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!.. ok so thats not your name but fury and the rage is still there. Hey look its a Jesi! Aww now the Jesi is gone, but she will return, I think..... she was doodling, lets take a look shall we, lets see, a person, a cat stretching, a cat on a ladder, a cat sitting, and.. Awwww its a little pug! Pugy wugy wugy! HEY JESI'S BACK WOHOO, OH OH NOW SHE'S READING THIS I HOPE SHE DOESN'T CATCH UP TO THIS POINT WRIGHT FASTER!!! OPPS cap lock again, hey she's leaning over the key board all hawt like....ehehehehehe I win! Great now I'm off topic again, was there even a topic in the first place, gorramit! Hey jesi's still here, and now she dances, yay she dances so well."

Ya I know it's strange but that's kinda how my mind works so deal with it po dogs.. and by po dogs I mean people who read this.... so I guess I mean Jesi and Mary...... I kissed a po dog. Twice. Just to clarify I mean Jesi not Mary. Ok I gtg it's Jesi's turn to apply postifications to the interweb.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Standing

So I finally bought some bases and got my Command Squad on their feet. I also put together my first three devastators, and put together my experimental Rocket Launcher. So here are the pics, enjoy.

My Devastator Sergeant.

My Heavy Bolter.


My experimental Rocket Launcher, I took auto loader back pack off his back and mounted it to the side of the launcher like a rocket clip. I also extended out his servo arm... pretty much just because I could.



My three devastators.

The complete Command Squad, unpainted.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

New Pictures-Feb4, 2008

My Latests and Greatest pictures, take a look, I'll comment on them when I have a chance, so for now just look and enjoy.

A full army Shot.



A veteran with company banner. I hate this little guy, his arm drooped so now the banner isn't straight, and the banner pole was the hardest thing to put together.



My Apothecary, I plan to splatter him with blood paint.




Another Veteran



My Company Champion, I decided a sword wasn't quite my Champions style, so I gave him a pretty nifty axe. Swank.



My Captain Lysander... but not Captain Lysander, you know what I mean? Anyhow I've since updated him with some more Templar esc icons.



My Devastator Sergeant, equipped with a Storm Bolter and a Plasma Pistol.



My Heavy Bolter, and Multi-Melta Devastators.




My Rocket Launcher and Other Heavy Bolter Devastators.



My Command Squad.



As soon as I get the damn card reader on my computer working I'll have updated pictures for a few of these.

Christmas Company

Here are some more Warhammer pictures, these are from christmas, and I figured it'd be fun to post them.



Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Old Pictures

Ok so I think I've fixed my blog space, and now I can post lots of photos!... So I will. HAVE AT THEE!





First picture is a picture of my first full squad, then Chaplain Cyrik, then it's a member of my Command Squad, and last it's Sergeant Kristoph. These pictures are kinda old but I figured I should probably have them up. I'll be throwing some newer ones up soon.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Can't really think of anything important to say so I guess I'll just post a fun little video. Now ya, ya all visual elements in this video belong to blizzard yada yada yada, but the audio's all mine. So here you go I bring you my week 6 audio assignment.



So there you go.